Originally published September 9, 2010. Updated for 2025.
There’s something graceful—and powerful—about smart messaging. It cuts through noise, builds trust, and moves people to act. And in an attention-starved, AI-saturated world, your website’s copy is either doing that… or driving people away.
Whether you’re promoting a church, charity, university, or planned giving program, strong messaging isn’t just important—it’s everything. Especially when it comes to your most valuable screen real estate: your forms, calls-to-action, and sign-up prompts.
Some organizations still don’t get it. Fortunately, others do—and the New York Public Library gave us a classic, clear-cut example.
Back in 2010, Jeff Brooks over at FutureFundraisingNow.com compared two versions of NYPL’s e-newsletter sign-up page: one clunky, one clean. The contrast was so sharp it became a textbook case of messaging done right. And guess what?
It’s still relevant today. Because even now, far too many nonprofits keep making the same mistakes.
Let’s revisit this “then and now” table:
| Bad Messaging | Good Messaging | ||
| 1. | “Subscribe to NYPL Newsletters” | “Stay Up-to-Date with NYPL News” | |
| 2. | Requires “contact information” including name | Requires only “your email address” | |
| 3. | Requires choice (“please select”) among up to four different newsletter titles | Displays “What you’ll get” box with bulleted list of engaging library information | |
| 4. | Stilted, two-sentence, 27-word privacy policy blurb with embedded info link | Affirming, one-sentence, seven-word privacy policy blurb with embedded info link |
Why This Still Matters in 2025
- The Headline
“Subscribe” sounds like work. “Stay up-to-date” sounds like value. Simple shift, big difference. Even better? They dropped “newsletter” and went with “NYPL News.” That sells the product, not the platform. - The Ask
“Contact information” implies fundraising follow-up. Asking only for an email feels low-commitment. The fewer fields you force people through, the fewer you’ll lose. - The Clutter
Listing four newsletter options forces users to think—too much. Confusion creates friction. The better version replaces it with a “What You’ll Get” list:
- Library news
- Service updates
- Latest programs and events
- Sneak previews
- Special announcements
That’s messaging that sells the sizzle, not the structure. It taps into curiosity, immediacy, and relevance.
The Legalese
Nobody wants to read a 27-word privacy policy. “Your privacy is important to us” gets the job done, with a clean embedded link. Short, human, and clear.
Translate This to Planned Giving
If your site’s donor forms, newsletter sign-ups, or legacy landing pages look like they were written by committee, they probably were.
You’re not just losing clicks—you’re losing trust. And trust is the currency of every planned gift.
Too many nonprofits bury their value behind technical jargon, legacy content, or cluttered web forms. They over-explain. They under-inspire. And they forget that the visitor is silently asking one thing:
“What’s in this for me?”
Smart messaging answers that instantly.
Final Thought
The NYPL example may be over a decade old—but its lessons are evergreen. In fact, they’re more relevant than ever in a world of inbox overload and automated everything.
So take a look at your own website. Are you selling the structure—or the sizzle?
One converts. The other gets ignored.
