Many fundraisers understand the importance of charitable bequests, yet hesitate to raise the topic with donors. Legacy giving conversations often feel uncomfortable or ill-timed, even when donors are deeply committed.
As a result, bequests are frequently left to chance. Understanding how these conversations actually begin—and why they matter—can make the difference between hoping for legacy gifts and planning for them.
How Do You Ask for a Charitable Bequest?
Asking for a charitable bequest starts with understanding a donor’s values, life priorities, and long-term goals. Instead of focusing on money or estate documents, effective bequest conversations focus on legacy, impact, and meaning, introduced gradually through trust-based relationships.
The Complete Guide for Fundraisers Who Want Results
This guide is written for development officers, executive directors, and fundraisers who already have donor relationships—but aren’t capitalizing on them.
Multiple studies show that donors who are asked to include a charitable gift in their will are far more likely to follow through—some research suggests up to 17 times more likely—than those who aren’t asked.
Yet most development officers never ask. They’ll cold-call strangers for $100 annual gifts, but they won’t have a simple conversation with their most loyal supporters about leaving a legacy. Why? Because they don’t know how to ask for a bequest. Because talking about wills feels like talking about death. And because nobody wants to be the person who brought up death at the donor meeting.
This guide gives you the exact words to use, the psychology behind why they work, and the follow-up steps that can significantly increase the size of the gifts you receive.
Why Fundraisers Don’t Ask (And Why That’s Costing Your Organization)
Let’s be honest about the real reasons this planned giving conversation doesn’t happen:
- Lack of training. Nobody taught you how to have this conversation, so you avoid it.
- Fear of seeming morbid. You don’t want to remind someone they’re going to die.
- Fear of seeming greedy. You worry it looks like you’re after their money before they’re even gone.
- Fear of rejection. What if they say no? What if it damages the relationship?
Your donors are already thinking about their legacy. At least 68% of Americans don’t have a will—not because they don’t care, but because they “haven’t gotten around to it.” So when you bring up the topic, you’re not being pushy. You’re giving them a reason to finally take action on something they’ve been meaning to do (and need to do, to protect their loved ones, their legacy, and their assets) anyway.
Research from the Partnership for Philanthropic Planning found that 70% of donors who made planned gifts did so because they were asked. Not because they saw a brochure. Not because they visited your website. Not because they clicked a button on a free online will tool. Because someone asked them directly.
The Relationship vs. Click Reality Check
Now let’s address the elephant in the room: digital “intent capture” tools that promise to generate bequest commitments through online forms and free will-writing software.
The appeal is obvious. It’s free. It’s scalable. Donors click a box, and you get a “commitment.” But here’s what the research actually shows about what drives realized gifts:
| What Research Proves | What Free Online Tools Skip |
|---|---|
| Donors asked directly are dramatically more likely to follow through | A website visit is not an ask |
| Donors who are thanked give 2x as much | Automated emails don’t build relationships |
| Donors cultivated after commitment give 3-4x as much | Who’s calling these donors? Nobody. |
| Legacy donors increase annual giving by 75% after commitment | No relationship = no increased annual gifts |
| Personal outreach returns ~$57 for every $1 spent | “Free” tools have hidden costs: unrealized gifts |
The questions nobody’s asking: A donor clicks a box online saying they’ll include you in their will. But did they actually call their attorney? Did they change their beneficiary form? Will anyone notice if they change their mind next year? What percentage of digital “commitments” become real dollars?
Bequests are revocable. Without a relationship, intent stays intent. This is why planned giving marketing has to be built on relationships, not clicks.
The Psychology of the Ask: What Actually Works
Before we get to scripts, you need to understand why certain approaches work better than others. Dr. Russell James at Texas Tech has done extensive research on this, and his findings should shape every conversation you have.
Don't Call It a "Bequest"
When researchers tested different phrases, leading with “make a bequest gift” generated charitable interest in just 13% of respondents. But leading with “honor a friend or family member by making a memorial gift,” generated a much higher interest rate—23%. That’s a 77% improvement just by changing your language. “Bequest” is legal jargon. “A gift in your will” sounds like something anyone can do for your nonprofit.
Use phrases like:
- “Include us in your will”
- “Leave a gift to [organization]”
- “Make a gift that outlasts your lifetime”
- “Continue your support for generations”
- “Honor a loved one with a gift”
Lead with Impact, Not Mechanics
Donors don’t get excited about estate planning or planned gifts. They get excited about making a difference. Before you explain how to structure a gift, make sure they understand what their gift will do. Frame the conversation around their legacy, not your organization’s needs.
Tax Benefits Actually Help
Contrary to what some consultants teach, mentioning tax benefits actually increases interest. Research showed a 19% difference in charitable interest when communications led with tax deductions versus not mentioning them at all. Don’t be afraid to mention that a bequest can reduce estate taxes.
The Conversation: Scripts That Work
Most planned giving guides fail nonprofits here. They give you theory but no words. These aren’t theoretical examples. These are conversations that work.
Download our complete Donor Conversation Starters guide for additional scripts and approaches.
The Soft Introduction (For Any Donor Meeting)
This isn’t a hard ask for a bequest. It’s planting a seed during a routine conversation.
“Margaret, I want you to know how much your support has meant to us over the years. You’ve been giving to [organization] for what—fifteen years now? That kind of loyalty is rare, and it makes a real difference. Have you ever thought about including us in your estate plans? It’s something a lot of our longtime supporters do, and it doesn’t affect anything you’re doing right now.”
Then stop talking. Let them respond. The most important thing after an ask is silence.
The Three Options Approach
Research shows that offering three ways to give significantly increases response. It normalizes planned giving by presenting it alongside other fundraising options.
“There are several ways you can help. You could make a gift today, become a monthly sustainer, or include us in your will for a gift that continues your support even after your lifetime. Any of those would make a tremendous impact.”
The Memorial Angle
If you know the donor has lost someone meaningful—a parent, spouse, or friend who shared their values—this approach resonates powerfully when you ask for a bequest.
“I know your mother was passionate about [cause]. Some of our supporters have chosen to honor loved ones by including us in their wills—it’s a way to keep their memory alive through the causes they cared about. Is that something you’ve ever considered?”
The Direct Ask (For Cultivated Major Donors)
For donors you know well, directness is often appreciated when you ask for a bequest. They’re busy people who respect efficiency.
“David, I’m reaching out to a small group of our most committed supporters about something important. We’re building a legacy society—a group of people who have included [organization] in their estate plans. Given everything you’ve done for us over the years, I wanted to ask if you’d consider joining that group. All it takes is a quick call to your attorney to add a provision to your will.”
The Follow-Up Email (After an Initial Conversation)
Subject: Following up on our conversation
“Dear Margaret, It was wonderful speaking with you yesterday. I wanted to follow up on our brief discussion about legacy giving. Including [organization] in your will is simpler than most people expect—it’s usually just one sentence added to your existing documents. I’ve attached sample language you can share with your attorney. And if you already have us in your plans, please let me know so we can properly thank you and welcome you to our [Legacy Society name]. No pressure at all—just wanted to make sure you had the information. Warmly, [Name]”
Sample Bequest Language (Give This to Your Donors)
One of the biggest barriers to legacy giving is that donors don’t know what to tell their attorney. Remove that barrier by providing exact language they can use. Download our complete bequest language templates or use these examples:
Unrestricted Bequest (Specific Amount)
“I give the sum of $______ to [Organization Legal Name], a nonprofit corporation located at [Address], Federal Tax ID #[XX-XXXXXXX], to be used for its general charitable purposes.”
Why unrestricted matters: Unrestricted gifts give your organization flexibility to address the most pressing needs. They’re also easier to administer and less likely to create complications decades from now.
Percentage of Estate
“I give ____% of my total estate, determined as of the date of my death, to [Organization Legal Name], a nonprofit corporation located at [Address], Federal Tax ID #[XX-XXXXXXX], for its general charitable purposes.”
Residual Bequest (What’s Left After Other Bequests)
“I give all (or ____%) of the rest, residue, and remainder of my estate to [Organization Legal Name], a nonprofit corporation located at [Address], Federal Tax ID #[XX-XXXXXXX], for its general charitable purposes.”
Contingent Bequest (Backup Beneficiary)
“If [primary beneficiary] does not survive me, I give [amount or percentage] to [Organization Legal Name], a nonprofit corporation located at [Address], Federal Tax ID #[XX-XXXXXXX], for its general charitable purposes.”
Pro tip: Always include a flexibility clause in case the donor’s intended purpose becomes impractical: “If in the judgment of [Organization] it becomes impossible or impractical to accomplish the purposes of this gift, the income or principal may be used for such related purposes as determined by [Organization].”
Important: Always encourage donors to consult their own attorney when finalizing estate documents. These templates are starting points, not legal advice.
After the Commitment: Stewardship That Multiplies Gifts
When you ask for a bequest, getting the commitment is just the beginning. This is where digital-only approaches fail completely—and where relationship-based planned giving programs shine. Research shows that proper stewardship dramatically increases the final gift amount:
- Donors who were asked and thanked gave twice as much as those who were not thanked.
- Donors who were cultivated after the thank-you gave 3 to 4 times as much.
- After making a legacy gift commitment, annual giving increases an average of 75%.
Your post-commitment checklist:
- Immediate thank-you call. Within 24-48 hours. Not an email. A phone call.
- Handwritten note. From you personally, followed by an official acknowledgment letter.
- Welcome to your Legacy Society. Give it a name. Make it feel exclusive. If you don’t have one, here’s how to create one.
- Quarterly touchpoints. Special newsletter, impact reports, or exclusive events for legacy donors.
- Annual recognition. List them (with permission) in your annual report.
- Story gathering. With permission, document their story for future marketing. Social proof is powerful.
Who to Ask: Your Best Bequest Prospects Are Already in Your Database
You don’t need to cold-call strangers. Your best prospects share these characteristics:
- Long giving history. Anyone who’s given to your nonprofit 10+ times over the years, regardless of amount.
- Age 60+. They’re actively thinking about their legacy.
- No children. Statistically the most likely group to make planned gifts.
- High engagement. Volunteers, event attendees, board members, committee members.
- Service recipients. People who directly benefited from your mission.
- Former staff or board. They know your organization inside and out.
Important: Don’t target only wealthy donors. Some of the largest bequests come from middle-class supporters who gave modest amounts during their lifetimes but accumulated significant assets. The schoolteacher who gave $50 a year for 30 years might leave you $200,000.
Handling Objections
Most objections aren’t objections—they’re requests for reassurance.
“I need to provide for my family first.”
“Absolutely, and that should always be the priority. Many of our legacy donors leave the bulk of their estates to family and designate a smaller percentage—sometimes just 1% or 5%—to causes they care about. It’s a way to express your values without affecting what your family receives.”
“I don’t have a will yet.”
“You’re not alone—more than half of Americans don’t. When you do get around to it, would you consider including us? In the meantime, you can actually designate us as a beneficiary of your IRA or life insurance policy—that doesn’t require a will at all, just a simple form from your financial institution.”
“I’m not wealthy enough to make a difference.”
“Some of our most meaningful legacy gifts have come from people who never thought of themselves as major donors. You’d be surprised how assets accumulate—a home, retirement accounts, life insurance. And there’s no minimum amount. Every gift matters.”
“I need to think about it.”
“Of course. This isn’t a decision to make lightly. Can I send you some information to review? And would it be okay if I followed up in a few weeks to answer any questions?”
Getting Buy-In Internally
Before you can speak to donors and ask for a bequest, you may need to persuade your own board or leadership.
- Start with the ROI. Planned giving generates roughly $57 for every $1 invested. No other fundraising channel comes close.
- Reframe the conversation. You’re not asking donors to think about death. You’re inviting them to think about legacy and meaning.
- Ask board members to go first. If your board isn’t willing to include your organization in their own estate plans, that says something.
- Start small. You don’t need a comprehensive planned giving program. You just need to start having conversations. The infrastructure can follow.
The Bottom Line
Bequests are one of the most efficient forms of fundraising available. The average bequest is worth decades of annual gifts. The return on investment is among the highest of any fundraising strategy.
But none of that matters if you don’t ask for bequests.
No technology will do this for you. No online tool can replicate the trust built in a face-to-face conversation. No automated email can follow up with the nuance that turns a vague intention into a realized gift.
Start this week. Pick five of your most loyal donors. Have the conversation. Use the scripts in this guide. You’ll be surprised how many people were just waiting to be asked.
Free Resources
Download our Charitable Bequest Planner and Donor Conversation Starters to help donors and nonprofits navigate legacy giving with clarity and confidence.
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