Most fundraisers hear verbal bequest commitments all the time:
- “I’ve included you in my will.”
- “We’ve taken care of you in our estate plans.”
- “You’ll be remembered in our trust.”
But when it comes time to ask the donor to put that intention on paper, even experienced fundraisers hesitate. They worry about sounding pushy or skeptical. They don’t want to interrupt a moment of generosity with something that feels procedural.
In other words, asking for bequest documentation feels awkward — even when the donor already volunteered their intention
The result: many planned gifts remain undocumented — and some are eventually lost when staff retire, move, or simply forget what was said.
Documentation Matters
Yes, it does. And it can be secured smoothly, naturally, and donor-centrically when you follow the right process.
A verbal intention is meaningful. But a documented intention is: stewardable, trackable, protected, more likely to be realized, and easier to honor decades later.
Organizations change. Staff leave. Roles shift. Without documentation, a donor’s legacy can be unintentionally lost.
This guide gives you two practical, friction-free methods to secure written bequest confirmation without discomfort:
- The Donor Story Path
- The Quiet Donor Path
Both work. Each serves a different donor personality.
Documentation protects the donor—not the organization.
Why Donor Stories Matter
Before you use the donor story path, it’s essential to understand — and be able to explain — why donor stories are so effective.
Donor stories genuinely motivate others to give.
They normalize legacy giving, provide social proof, and show generosity in action. Donors are far more receptive to sharing their story when they understand that doing so helps others make the same important decision.
This framing is important because it keeps the request from sounding like flattery or “kissing up.” It positions the donor story as a mission-driven act, not a personal compliment.
A verbal promise deserves lasting stewardship.
Fundraiser Insight (Not for Donors)
This is a powerful truth you should know — but never say to a donor:
Donor stories often lead to deeper donor commitment and second-time gifts.
When donors go public (or semi-public) with their intention:
- their identity as a legacy donor strengthens
- they feel proud and invested
- they are more likely to deepen their involvement over time
This happens naturally through identity reinforcement. But telling a donor that sharing their story will deepen their commitment sounds manipulative — even if it’s true. Donors can smell that a mile away. This insight informs your approach; it’s never something you communicate directly.
PATH 1: The Donor Story Method
A natural “yes ladder” that leads gracefully to documentation.
This method is extremely effective because it builds momentum. Each step feels natural and donor-centric, so by the time you ask for written documentation, it feels like the next logical step — not a new request.
Donor stories inspire gifts future generations need.
Step 1: Begin with Genuine Gratitude
When a donor mentions a bequest intention, respond warmly:
“Thank you for sharing that news. Your intention means more than you know, and we are deeply grateful.”
This establishes emotional connection before anything else.
Step 2: Introduce the Donor Story Opportunity
Once you’ve acknowledged their generosity, transition to the story:
“Did you know that donor stories motivate others to consider leaving their own legacy gifts? We’d be honored to share your story — only if you’re comfortable.”
Immediately reduce friction:
“To make it easy, we can simply interview you. It takes just a few minutes, and we’ll draft everything for your review.”
Offering to interview the donor is powerful. It removes all the pressure of writing and makes participation effortless.
Tip: You can conduct the interview yourself or have your marketing team assist. If you want a more polished or professional result, you may consider using an external interview service.
Using a professional interview service also signals to the donor that you take their story seriously. It elevates the experience, positions your organization as polished and intentional, and reassures the donor that their story will be handled with care.
If you need help with donor-friendly questions, you can use a resource like 101 Clever Questions that Unlock Planned Gifts.
Step 3: Conduct a Short Interview
Ten to fifteen minutes is enough. Ask simple donor-centric questions:
- What inspired your legacy gift?
- What do you value about our mission?
- What do you hope your legacy will accomplish?
Keep it warm, conversational, and brief.
Step 4: Draft and Send the Story for Approval
Most donors love seeing their story written clearly and respectfully (another reason a professional service may be helpful). It affirms their values and strengthens their emotional connection to your organization.
This emotional reinforcement creates perfect timing for the next step.
Step 5: After They Approve the Story, Ask for Documentation
Now is the natural moment for the written confirmation request:
“Now that your story is finalized, may I send you our simple bequest confirmation form? It just helps us honor your wishes faithfully — especially years from now when staff or leadership may have changed.”
This framing emphasizes stewardship, not verification.
It protects their intentions, not your records.
The donor almost always says yes.
PATH 2: The Quiet Donor Method
For donors who decline a story or prefer privacy.
Some donors are modest or simply prefer to remain private. When they decline the donor-story option, accept it gracefully.
Then — wait three to seven days — and send a warm, strategic follow-up email designed to secure documentation without any pressure.
Strategic Follow-Up Email Template
Subject: Ensuring We Honor Your Legacy Wishes
Dear [Name],
Thank you again for sharing your intention to include our organization in your estate plans. Your future gift means more than you may realize, and we are truly grateful.
To ensure we honor your exact wishes — not just today, but many years from now — we keep simple bequest documentation on file. This is not a binding agreement and does not include financial details; it simply helps us steward your intentions faithfully.
Many donors choose to document their plans because staff members change over time, people retire or move, roles shift, leadership evolves, and occasionally important details can be lost unless formally recorded.
A brief confirmation form ensures your intentions are protected, regardless of who may be here in the future.
May I send you our one-page bequest confirmation form?
Thank you again for your generosity and trust. Your legacy matters, and we want to ensure it is honored exactly as you intend.
Warm regards,
[Fundraiser Name]
Your legacy should never depend on memory.
When the Form Doesn't Come Back
Some donors will agree to documentation and then… nothing. The form sits in their inbox or on their kitchen counter. This isn’t reluctance — it’s life.
A simple follow-up two weeks later usually does the trick:
Subject: Quick follow-up on your bequest confirmation
Dear [Name],
I wanted to make sure the bequest confirmation form reached you. If you have any questions or if there’s anything I can clarify, I’m happy to help.
If it’s easier, I can also walk you through it over the phone — it only takes a few minutes.
Thank you again for your generosity.
Warm regards,
[Fundraiser Name]
If there’s still no response after another two weeks, one final nudge is appropriate. After that, let it rest — you can revisit during your next stewardship touchpoint.
After the final nudge, let it rest.
Why These Methods Work
- They remove pressure and friction — you’re guiding, not interrogating.
- They use emotional momentum — asking when the donor is already feeling generous.
- They normalize documentation — it becomes standard, not suspicious.
- They improve long-term stewardship — documented donors are easier to retain.
Conclusion
Asking donors to document their bequest intention does not need to be uncomfortable. When framed correctly, it becomes a natural extension of gratitude and stewardship.
Whether you use the donor-story path or the quiet-donor follow-up method, you can secure written confirmations in a way that is respectful, warm, and donor-centered.
These two pathways give you confidence, clarity, and a simple structure — while helping donors protect the legacies they care about most.
Additional Tips for Increasing Documentation Rates
- Always begin with genuine thanks.
- Never act surprised by a bequest intention.
- Avoid asking for amounts or financial details.
- Follow up promptly while the donor is still emotionally warm.
- Emphasize that documentation is not legally binding.
- Use simple, friendly language — no jargon.
Some donors don’t yet have a will. Offering an online will planner can help them get started—and it gives you documentation once they name your organization.
